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There are moments when being stranded on a desert island seems like paradise. Most of the time, however, I assume I'll be stuck here forever, cut off from the delights of civilization, from such things as quiet bars and good company. I don't know if I'll ever be rescued, but I'm keeping track of the days and writing these missives with iDaily Diary, a convenient application. It's a good thing the program's free, because I don't think I'll be able to renew my credit card from here.
My first order of business was finding something to eat. Well, make that second, after finding something to write with--I think the heat has screwed up my priorities. Anyway, I take a methodical approach to tasks, so after fashioning a fishing rod from a bamboo stick, a long thread worked loose from my shirt (half-shirt now), and a zipper tag smashed into the shape of a hook, I downloaded Fishing Log Pro. With this application, I rated the success of my fishing in locations around the island with different bait types. Good thing I like sushi.
I did pretty well on the fishing, but I was getting a bit bored after the third day. I looked around the barren beach and up to the palm-tree forest. My Scottish roots shrieked inspiration to me, and I got to work building a golf course. Because all my writing implements lay in the briny deep, I kept score of my games with GolfCard. My game improved quite a bit with this program keeping track of my eagles and birdies. You'd be surprised how far you can hit a coconut with a stout stick.
The lack of society got to me after a week. I needed to be with people, and all my stranded colleagues had long since retreated to various inlets, bays, and lagoons around the island. I took a group of iguanas under my wing, wishing to teach them the manners of civilized society. I couldn't get them to converse intelligently with me, but I did organize them into a pretty good soccer team using All Stats Soccer Coach. My coaching experience is limited, but All Stats made up for my deficiencies. On Saturday we play the lemurs.
This may be my last journal entry. There are monkeys, monkeys everywhere, throwing coconuts at me. This rain of lethal nuts started after I got bored and played a little game called Cactus Bruce and the Corporate Monkeys for three days straight. Fortunately, for the moment, there's a cactus holding the monkeys at bay--and he's a pirate, so he knows how to deal with monkeys. Especially monkeys in the pocket of a nefarious corporation, as these must be.
Formerly a senior editor at Download.com, Wayne Cunningham now likes to drive cars really fast.
Episode three: Karen Whitehouse, Mango Hunter | Back to intro
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